september the 5th, 3:03 (GMT+2)


this, I swear, will be my last english post in this row. For I am now in the plane flying back to Sao Paulo. It's always good to return home... even though this time it has a somewhat bitter taste to it. The ending of this film, it seems, is that the hero barely manages to stay alive, kinda loses the battle and on top of it all doesn't get the girl. ...well, those of you who know me know that I am quite used to this ending. Only the plot changes... slightly.

Anyway, I can't go back to what I was before. This changed everything once again, and I still haven't decided what to do with myself... for a change. Best part is that I will be back on my own territory... back to Professor, back to my boring life. ...somehow It's kinda comforting though. I know that life... I've been down that road. I know where it leads. ...and quite frankly, I don't wanna be there. Yet it seems that I have no choice.

The bottom line, as far as I can see right now, is that devotion brings nothing. Maybe I should just follow all the advices I get and turn into a regular jerk. ...but we all know I won't be able to do so... I don't have the guts to do so. I'm just an old-fashioned, foolish and wimpy dreamer. What are ideals good for when they bring you nothing but that old painful emptiness?

let me stick with it then.